Wednesday 28 January 2015

Goodbye Dad

My beautiful Dad passed away at 2:37 pm yesterday - Tuesday 27th January, 2015.  He was under palliative care for two and a half days.  It was a very long and tiring two and half days, but it also went fast.  It was really hard seeing Dad the way he was, but he was unconscious the whole time and kept comfortable by all the wonderful doctors and nurses. 

On Monday night we all left Mum at the hospital, as she was sleeping there with Dad.  We were all up late messaging each other though, and I Mum said how hard it was seeing him like it, and how she just wishes he could go. We all agreed and I said that maybe was just waiting for something.  She said she didn't know what he could be waiting for, as we had all told him it was okay to go. 

That night was when I couldn't sleep until I finished doing my blog post about Dad. I just did it on my phone, and finally posted it at 1:30 am.  I just really wanted to post it before Dad passed away - I guess kind of hoping that Dad could see it and see how much we all loved him.

The next morning my Aunty Wanda (Dad's only sister) commented that the blog post really helped her, which made me happy because I knew how sad she was.   At about 2:25 pm my Aunty Wanda walked into the room with her son Tim and his family. She was very emotional and it was so good to see them.  My Mum, brother Chrish, sister Nicki and two of her kids were all in the room when they arrived.  She said she was just so upset all morning, and just wanted to come down and see him, so Tim took off work to bring her down.

She had a good cry as she spoke to Dad, and Mum told her that he wasn't in pain and explained everything that was going on.    She told him it was okay to go, and then Mum and Aunty Wanda sat down on opposite sides of Dad's bed and kept talking. 
It was a lovely moment as they chatted across Dad's bed, so I passed my phone to my brother Chrish who was sitting at the end of the bed, and asked him to take a photo for me.  I looked back up at Dad to see what the photo would look like and I noticed his chest wasn't moving.  For a sec my heart jumped, and then I saw him take one more breath and it stopped again.  I yelled 'has Dad stopped breathing!?' and Mum and all of us jumped up.  He had taken his last breath and it was just so peaceful as he slipped away.  

We couldn't believe that he had been breathing quite strongly when she arrived, but just went in an instant. He was obviously waiting for his sister to arrive, and we were so grateful that she came and could be there with him when it happened.

We were all very emotional but were so happy for him that he had finally, and imagined the reunions that he was having at that moment.  My boys actually weren't with me when it happened, and I think that it was the best way it could've happened.  They arrived about forty five minutes later and it was nice for them to see him so rested and peaceful and still warm.

We spent about four hours in the room with Dad's body before we all left to come home.  I told the boys as we were driving to see who the first one to spot a rainbow would be.  I just knew we would see one on the way home because I have no doubt that Aaron sends us rainbows at different times, when we need to know he's around.   About twenty minutes after I said it a double rainbow appeared.  Jalen then said 'okay, maybe the rainbow theory is true' :)
I literally pulled over about twenty times on our drive home, to take photos of the sky. I was sure that Dad was letting us know he was happy. 
It's such a different feeling losing my Dad, compared to losing Noah and Aaron.  I'm so sad and can't imagine life without him around, but I'm more concerned about how my Mum will cope, and what I can do to help her. 

My Dad sometimes went to respite because of his dementia, and I like to think that right now he's in the most beautiful respite that he could be in and he's having the most wonderful time with many people that he loves, and it hopefully won't be too long until we see him again. 

18 comments:

  1. So very sad Lisa. My Dad oassed away 12 years ago, very peacefully and I suppose suddenly after several years of been ill. What a reunion he will be having in heaven with lived ones who have gone before him. Your mother will probably surprise you how she will cope. Mum surprised us, but, of course their were dark, emotional days too. Thinkiing of you

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  2. Thinking of you all...find strength in you faith and the bond you have as a family x

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  3. I will be praying for you all in the upcoming days and weeks as you adjust to life without him. He is in a better place and enjoying his reuniting with Aaron and Noah. May he rest in peace.

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  4. I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. Your story about him was beautiful; I could see your love for him and his for you.

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  5. Thanks Lisa for blogging it all, Mum and Dad have kept me updated, but it's nice to hear it from you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all right now. Love, Penny

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  6. I'm so sorry about your dad. I've got tears in my eyes as I type and I don't even know you, and didn't know him. Hugs.

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  7. Hi Lisa...what a beautiful honest message to us all...I love the rainbows!!! I was right there when my Dad took his last breath...we are priviledged to watch life be born and we are equally priviledged to witness life go beyond the veil again...These days will be full of love for you my darling....xxx

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  8. Lisa, I was so sorry to hear about your dad yesterday and your following post today. I am so glad he was able to pass so peacefully. He was obviously waiting for his sister to arrive. I also love the rainbows. I am sure with the strength you have shown over the past few years you will be fine. I know you don't know me (I don't normally post on blogs) but I have followed your blog for a few years and send love and strength your way. xx

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  9. My heartfelt sympathy to you all, my Dad died 29 years ago today.

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  10. I'm so sorry to read of your loss. Praying for comfort for you all and especially your Mum.

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  11. Dear Lisa and Family,
    I am very sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers. I have no doubt you'll know exactly what to do to help your mum. Those "rainbow connections" are truly a gift from your loved ones - enjoy them!

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  12. Sending your family my sympathies and hugs from the States.

    A young lady I knew in high school passed away in 2006, and sent her parents tons of rainbows shortly after her passing. Its like they want us to know they are okay now <3

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  13. Wow, this is beautiful. May God grant you the peace you need at this time. Prayers and hugs to you, especially your Mom. I love the rainbows as a special sign... it is amazing to me, because that is what my special sign is with my husband on the other side of the veil too. Rainbows have always been special to us, and they come now at some of the most interesting times, and it is NOT a coincidence, as you well know. Keep chasing rainbows, always. :-) Love & Hugs. Thanks for sharing this experience with us.

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  14. Lisa, I am very sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. My Mom passed away on 8/6/12 as a result of a brain injury. I love your rainbow story. The night my Mom passed, I saw a dragonfly very late in the evening. Normally too late to see dragonflies. It flew past my side door just as I was telling my daughter of my Mom's passing. My daughter commented that it was Grandma letting us know she was ok. Every time I see a dragonfly, I wonder if it is my Mom saying Hi. I will pray for your family in this time of trouble. I know your Dad is the newest guardian angel watching over you. Love from Val in the US.

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  15. Beautiful, beautiful posts Lisa! I read your post yesterday when Toni posted on facebook about your dad. Wrapping my arms around you all at this bittersweet time. I choked up when I saw the beauty you captured in the sunset and rainbow. Such a manifestation. My love to Wanda too.

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  16. So incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending hugs from the USA. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this difficult time.

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  17. So sorry to hear about your dad.

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  18. Lisa and family - I was very sorry to hear of your Dad's passing but what a lovely tribute you gave in your previous post. I'm also a strong believer in rainbows and and there can be no doubt of the significance of them seeing the timing and specialness of the ones you captured so beautifully in your photo. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Kim in the USA

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We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo

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