It's hard to believe that Kobe will be starting school next year. I'm happy for him as I know he's going to love it, but also very sad because he's my last to go to school and I will miss him a lot.
Before Noah and Aaron passed away I was looking forward to him starting because I saw it as the first time in 13 years for me to have some time for myself. I loved being a stay at home Mum but after being home full time for over 12 years, I was looking foward to having some days on my own.
Then when Noah passed away I felt very lost. I no longer had to watch the clock all day, or plan my whole day around Noah's needs after he got home from school. If he was well enough to go to school I had to make sure that everything at home was organised before he got home, so my days have always been busy.
When Noah passed away I knew that I was ready to start working part time, and was very blessed to get a job straight away at the special school that Noah went to. I didn't realise how blessed I really was until Aaron passed away as I realised that having a job wasn't just to give me something else to focus on, but was also necessary so we had a little bit of an income.
I love work, but I'm so glad that I'm only working part time because it's nice to still have days off with Kobe before he starts school. Next year I hope that it works out so that I can work on the three days that he is at school, so that we still have two days at home together because now I just want to hold onto my days with him as long as possible.
It's so 'funny' how my thoughts have changed so much in the last 6 months or so. Before I was looking forward to quiet days on my own, but now I dread them and want to keep as busy as possible.
Kobe would go to school every day next year if he was allowed to. He is so excited about starting Kinder and has just started doing his pre-kinder sessions where he gets to go to school for an hour and a half on his own.
The first time he went he couldn't wait to pack his bag and go.
When we got to school he walked in and kept saying 'I'm going to Kinder' and when I talked to the school Principal and asked her to remind Kobe that you couldn't go to school if you were sick, he threw his hat down on the ground in disgust and stomped off!
When it was time to go he kept yelling and ran to the Kinder gate and stood on it screaming 'I want to go to Kinder!'.