I see a lot of blessings in my life right now, even despite all the sadness. The biggest blessings are of course my three boys who are still here with me. Without them I'm sure things would be so much harder right now.
I can't stop thinking about how glad I am that four years ago (plus nine months!) I had that nagging feeling that someone in our family was missing, and that we needed to have one more baby. It was the last thing I wanted but I knew that we had another little person who needed to join our family.
All of my boys are helping me get through at the moment, but especially Kobe. It's so nice to be able to work part time, and have a couple of days off a week to just spend time with him. I used to tell Aaron when he got home from work, all the things that Kobe and I got up to and the funny things he said and did, and Aaron would always joke saying 'but you didn't want another one!', just to stir me up.
I'm so grateful for our little ray of sunshine who makes me smile every day, sometimes even through the tears. He always says the cutest things and makes us laugh.