Sunday, 15 January 2012


I'm not sure if it's just me who does it, but I always wait until early January to buy my calendar for the year, so I don't have to pay full price.   I finally got one this week and pulled down the old calendar to transfer everyone's birthdays over to the new one.

As I started to do it I kept noticing all the appointments and references to Noah and it of course made me sad, but then I was also happy for Noah at the same time, that he no longer needed to go to 'physio' or ' Dr B' or 'bisphosphonate therapy' or 'seating clinic' anymore or any of the other hundreds of appointments he had every year.  

Kobe was the calendar boy for September on the Smile photo calendar this year, as my photo was featured for that month.  As I turned to that month I realised it was also the last month that we had Noah at home with us, as he was flown to ICU on the 1st October.  That last week at home with him we had two appointments - some training for Di and Alison to become accredited to suction and feed him so we could have respite on the weekends and taking Noah with me to talk to the med students at the hospital. It's crazy to think that three days later he was in ICU on a vent.

I had a few of these calendars to keep as souvenirs because my photo was in it, and I haven't written on them, but I just couldn't throw this old one out because it has so much about Noah on it.  It's now in his box with all his other special things. I'm sure my calendar won't be half as full this year.


  1. Sometimes it's not until it's quiet that you realise just how busy you were. When I remember the lady that I used to care for and take to all her appts, I can't help but think that I'm glad she is in a better place now so that I don't have to go to all those places with her any more. It's totally bittersweet. I'd keep that Calendar too .... all those little memories are so important for you. I was with her when she passed away and I've kept lots of little things as memories of her.

  2. This calendar says so much about your day to day life with Noah. A very beautiful thing to keep as it reminds you of not just about the selfless time spent going to all those appts but the bonding times you and Noah spent while doing all those things together.

  3. Oh that sweet calendar will be such a keep sake. I'm thinking of you on tender days and always.

  4. It's funny, when I bought my calender last week, I was thinking about your calender, and looking at it every time I visited, and looking to see how many appointments you had every month concerning Noah, and I thought that you would put it in his box, where it belongs.
    I was also thinking that the day I came in to watch the A.F.L. Grand Final with you, it was Noah's last day at home with you all, and I wished that I had given him a bigger kiss when you took him up to the hospital.
    How I miss him!!!
    Love Mum

  5. i hate throwing away my yearly calenders and my diaries too....i dont blame you making this one special....


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